VoR does RHOBH

[Phoenix]

That airplane scene is one of many to come of Kim just off her tits.

 

[supermassive]

Iconic moments in any mode of transportation

 

[Devil]

Is that ALF from Home and Away?!

 

[NatAlex Gordienko]

S01E12: Graduation

Adrienne
In this episode, Adrienne bought a blouse.

Loving reading these just after I watch.
Hoping for a nice BROOCH in the finale

 

[NatAlex Gordienko]

I've arrived...

S01E13: The Finale


Adrienne
I won a newfound sliver of respect for boring old Adrienne this episode. Such is her superfluity and lack of impact that in this finale episode we get to minute 25 before she's ever seen or spoken of, and even then all the show can muster is her grumbling to Paul about GARLIC BREAD. But then when the shit hit the fan with Kyle and Kim, she emerged as the most sensible and empathetic grown up in the room, and I realised that Adrienne's weakness as a reality TV character might actually be that she's a somewhat emotionally intelligent human with healthy boundaries (Who may or may not occasionally punch her husband in the face offscreen).

You forgot the glittery SHOES

 

[Will]

@VoR, since you're up to that part of the season, please don't hold back on doing a full analysis on one of the most distasteful women to ever grace one of these shows - Dana Wilkey.

 

[NatAlex Gordienko]

@VoR i’ve overtaken you now !
MORE PLEASE

 

[C’est la VoR]

S02 E05: $25,000 Sunglasses

This was another really fun, low stakes hangout episode, which wasn't without its troubling elements, but at least nobody went into a meltdown and disassociated in a Jacuzzi, which must mark it as one of the more successful social events of the show so far.

The episode is largely structured around Adrienne's Barbecue, but it's basically a flimsy excuse to further integrate Brandi and another recent addition to the supporting cast...

@VoR, since you're up to that part of the season, please don't hold back on doing a full analysis on one of the most distasteful women to ever grace one of these shows - Dana Wilkey.

Oh my God, what an instantly iconic NIGHTMARE .

I assume it's just Housewife 101 at this point, but compared to Season 1 it's interesting to have women essentially auditioning for a permanent cast slot on camera. It's all very staged, obviously, but Brandi so far comes across as quite refreshing and authentic in her unfiltered shit stirring. Dana on the other hand...

Apparently the living embodiment of NEW MONEY, Dana's try-hard antics (opening the door in a tiara, leaving pamphlets about her thai-speaking, 'encyclopedia trained' 18 month old in full view ) immediately get Kyle's back up, and for once I'm on her side. It all just feels performative in the worst and most desperate of ways, leading up to this mortifying exchange.

Camille's barely concealed DISDAIN for this undignified no-mark is the highlight of her performance so far this season.

Brandi, on the other hand, is doing great work so far! She's kind and empathetic towards Taylor, charmingly describes herself as 'the D-list version of Camille', and effortlessly irritates Kyle by simply existing. I assume she'll still be around long after Dana has been cast out in disgrace, never to be seen or spoken of again.

On the subject of side-characters, I'm increasingly amused by Dede being ever present but never acknowledged. She's turning into some sad ghost haunting the fringes of Beverley Hills society. I hope she never utters another word all season.

The barbecue is another no-show for poor Kim, whose sole on-camera appearance this episode is a rather sad scene in which she wanders around her empty house reminiscing about her kids to some random hispanic woman who the show claims is her housekeeper, but who I honestly think production just dragged in off the street to give her somebody to talk to.

Finally, Lisa has a rather timely side-plot when she's approached by Kim and Kyle's agent (what on earth does THAT job entail? Neither of them ever seem to do any work!) to be a CNN commentator for Prince William and Kate Middleton's wedding. There's not much to say about this, except OF COURSE Lisa Vanderpump is friends with Sarah Ferguson.

 

[Ha-lucy-nation]

Queen Camille is returning for the housewives equivalent of an all stars season, I wonder if SAD OLD DEDE will still be skulking around and carrying her bags.

 

[THEY CALL ME GAJA]

Queen Camille is returning for the housewives equivalent of an all stars season, I wonder if SAD OLD DEDE will still be skulking around and carrying her bags.

They fell out apparently. Camille had originally helped Dede’s family out with money when her husband lost her job, and then I think she felt indebted to her. I like to think DeDe realised the friendship wasn’t equal and moved on. Poor DeDe

 

[C’est la VoR]

S02 E06&7

Whew, what a harrowing yet compelling double bill!

Lisa Vanderpump
Let's get Lisa out of the way first as she was off on her own side-plot for most of these episodes. Pandora is finally getting married! I'm not sure to what degree this was actually a surprise for Lisa, but her reaction did seem very sweet and genuine. But the engagement reveal was of course merely the flimsy pretext to introduce us to another instantly memorable character - FREAKISH ASIAN WEDDING GAY.

I have no idea what this person(?)'s qualification or skill set is beyond being the living embodiment of gay vomit, but every interaction with him and a clearly shellshocked Lisa had me abolutely howling.

I'm not even sure how to explain why it's so funny, but the moment when he bursts through the door and does a double air kiss about 3 feet away from her, and she just awkwardly mutters "oh, OK..." as he shimmies past her - COMEDY GOLD. I can't even find a GIF of it but just watch it back and tell me I'm wrong. (It's around 23 minutes into episode 7 on amazon, but I think something went wrong when it was uploaded, I haven't sat through so many pointless recaps of scenes I've just watched since the glory days of SUNSET BEACH).

Pandora herself seems good natured enough and just BEMUSED by the whole thing. I strongly suspect her actual wedding will happen off camera and this is just some favour she's doing for her mum.

Anyway let's move on to the main event...

GAME NIGHT (from hell)

Holy Moses, we finally found a dynamic even more toxic than Kyle and Kim on the outs - Kyle and Kim UNITED.

At this point it's painfully obvious to everyone that Kim is not in a good place and being dragged out in front of the reality TV cameras for staged social events is doing her no favours whatsoever. However, presumably burned by her unflattering edit on season 1, Kyle is in full denial mode. The scenes of her literally patching her disheveled and disoriented sister together in Dana's bathroom - while Kim rambles about having not slept or eaten for SEVEN DAYS - could be taken straight out of Death Becomes Her.

Speaking of the bathroom, I loved that even in a drug-addled fugue state, Kim STILL had the presence of mind to comment on Dana (or is it PAM )'s filthy, clearly rented house. (Was there ANY furniture?!)

Anyway we'll circle back to Dana, but the centrepiece of this episode is obviously the blow-out between the Richards Sisters and Brandi. The sisters are just relentlessly cruel and spiteful towards Brandi from the moment she hobbles through the door. This episode really shows Kyle at her ugliest once again, but to be fair Kim is the initial aggressor and is right with her the whole way.

There was something so fascinating about their body language and mannerisms when they were openly mocking her - you could actually SEE the decades fall away as they reverted back to being messed up little stage brats making fun of the other children together. I found this little exchange genuinely CHILLING

I felt *really* bad for Brandi who did not deserve that level of spiteful vitriol at all up until that point. But she's a fascinating addition to the cast because despite being clearly outnumbered, she absolutely refuses to defer to the gruesome twosome in any way.

Camille (who like Kyle is clearly suffering SERIOUS PTSD from her season 1 edit ) and Taylor are both joining Kyle on the denial express RE Kim, and Brandi's growing incredulity that nobody is willing to acknowledge what's happening is some dark comedy gold, which obviously builds up to the mic drop to end all mic drops.

There's obviously no coming back from that one, and the episode very nearly descends into actual physical violence (SLUT PIG! ) until poor traumatised Taylor breaks them up and the most disastrous social event of a show already packed with disastrous social events comes to an awkwardly drawn out close. (Aside: Kim and Kyle hiding Brandi's crutches is some seriously ugly shit, I was genuinely shocked they allowed themselves to be aired behaving like that).

I've already written more on this episode than I did for my dissertation, but I just have to end with some words on Dana. It is a truly incredible negative feat to feature in this episode with these women and still come out looking like the absolute worst of the worst, but somehow Dana manages it. I haven't seen a more misguided entry onto reality television since Laganja Estranja.

The disgusting house! The absolutely disastrous spread of BREAD STICKS AND DESSERT! That fucked up baby voice "Kywwwle, make her staaaph, i don't like it!"

I do have to thank her for temporarily bringing back season 1 Camille, who's DISGUSTED side eyes and smirking talking heads were absolute top tier entertainment.

And was there a more mortifying moment all episode than when she desperately tried to buddy up with Kyle after Brandi had left, only for Kyle to stare back at her blankly, completely dead behind the eyes?

Again... CHILLING!

Oh there was also some post-Game night shit at some cancer gala but I honestly don't have the time or the bandwidth!

 

[Phoenix]

Yes finally the good stuff

 

[jivafox]

“We’re together forever, that’s what we’re about. Always have been… everybody!”

COMEDY GOLD

 

[C’est la VoR]

Kyle is legit TERRIFYING in that scene!

 

[THEY CALL ME GAJA]

Howling at your write-up.

There’s no denying that Brandi comes out of this exchange the best. I’ve got quite a few things to say about Dana but I’ll wait until you’re a bit further along. She probably has one of my stand-out scenes of the whole show.

 

[Ha-lucy-nation]

CHI CHI CHI CHI CHI! BEVERLY HILLS DARLING!

 

[Will]

Anyway we'll circle back to Dana

I squealed. And you did not disappoint.

It's actually awe-inspiring how badly she managed to come across, even before you consider how hard she tried not to

 

[jivafox]

Kyle is legit TERRIFYING in that episode!

The REAL Kyle!

Some queens may have fallen for her image restoration act over the next ten seasons but the rest of us will never forget that this demon is still locked away somewhere.

 

[Cerro de Casa]

The REAL Kyle!

Some queens may have fallen for her image restoration act over the next ten seasons but the rest of us will never forget that this demon is still locked away somewhere.

The original Regina George

 

[Music]

I was out day drinking with a friend who put my sunglasses on and pointed at them which I posted on my story and tagged Dana/Pam and said ‘Did you know $25,000?’. She DM’d me and said she loved it and reposted it on her story

My favourite part was her saying she gets people doing this all the time, sure thing Pam!

 

[C’est la VoR]

S02 E08: The Opposite of Relaxation & S02E09: Otherwise Engaged
A pair of relatively quiet episodes to burn through - Episode 8 is a fairly low-drama hangout at MALOOF MANSIONS in which the women unpick the horrors of Game Night, while 9 is all about Pandora's Engagement Party, although it does set up a few potentially juice plotlines for the back end of the season...

Lisa
As mentioned, Pandora's engagement party is the central focus of these episodes, with Lisa's über-rich friend Mohammad reappearing to organise the event.

Now, I try not to google ahead for fear of ruining key plotlines, such as the inevitable moment Kim Richards finally snaps and bludgeons Kyle to death with a VHS copy of Escape to Witch Mountain, but something about Mohammad's whole vibe just got my spidey senses tingling, and WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT...

In many a Bravo fan’s mind, Mohamed Hadid is the epitome of living large. The ex-husband of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills’ Yolanda Hadid, Mohamed was a regular face on the show, often hosting lavish parties at Le Belvedere, his lavish French Chateau-style mansion located on 2.2 acres in Los Angeles’ ritzy Bel Air nabe. Since selling that estate for $56 million last year, however, Mohamed has hit hard times.

In addition to living in a much smaller home and splitting from his longtime fiancée Shiva Safai, the longtime real estate developer filed for bankruptcy, following a multi-year lawsuit filed against him by the neighbors of “Starship Enterprise” (aka the sprawling, 30,000-square-foot home that Mohamed built into a hillside in Bel Air and was hoping to eventually sell for $100 million). Just last week the judge in that suit ordered Mohamed to demolish the half-built, not-up-to-code property, saying, “If this house came down the hill it would take a portion of the neighborhood with it.”

The engagement party itself is a spectacularly tacky affair, complete with enslaved camels, clearly white 'ethnic' dancers and, of course, THIS...

Camille
There's not much to say about Camille once again, as she's definitely faded into the background at this point, although she's still capable of dropping effortlessly iconic reads like the moment above. I'm mostly quite fascinated by her obvious low-key terror of unleashing another wave of hate from the tasteless public. She seems like she's being excessively nice at all times, and the way she dances around the fact that she CLEARLY sympathises with the way Brandi has been monstered by the Richards sisters is a fascinating little case study in reality tv Stockholm syndrome. I hope they team up at some point and take Kyle down once and for all, but I'm not holding my breath.

Kyle & Kim
The Episode 8 Spar date is fairly dominated with that awkward reality TV thing where you have to bring somebody back into the fold even though in real life you would go to great lengths to never see or speak to them again. From the on-the-nose visual of poor Brandi hobbling into Malouf Manor like a crippled Flamingo, our hot young troublemaker is really put through the ringer as she's forced to scrape and repent to get back into Kyle's good graces (presumably, though never said out loud, her only route to getting to stay on the show. I love these unspoken reality TV power dynamics!)

Kim is no angel in all this, but as mean as she continues to be to Brandi, I feel like she at least sets something resembling a healthy boundary with her? She doesn't like her, so she just refuses to engage or acknowledge her. Again, terrible reality TV strategy, but in real life that would be a valid and sensible response to somebody who accused you of being a Crystal Meth addict in public (albiet, probably accurately ).

I was also obsessed with her weird staccato way of speaking in this episode. Who knew the word PIRANHA contained so many syllables?

Last thought on Episode 8 - I really must reiterate how ineffably CREEPY it is when Kim and Kyle revert to their childhood selves. The scene of them on the trampoline sent an actual chill down my spine. One of them is most definitely going to wind up dead on a beach while the other wanders off to buy an ice cream.

Kim's big reveal in Episode 9 is of course her secret boyfriend Ken, and when I tell you I physically RECOILED

I sense the much hinted DARK TURN this season takes may have revealed itself. Oh Kim, you sweet drugged up woodland creature. Run far and run fast!

Taylor
Speaking of other halves with dark energy... having been somewhat backgrounded since her worrying meltdown at the Ski Chalet, Taylor's story comes into the foreground again this week, which unfortunately plays out with the onscreen return of the ghoulish RUSSELL

SOMEBODY (again, definitely not the show's producers ) has been flogging more stories about the demise of the Armstrong's fairytale marriage to the gossip rags, and the finger of suspicion is planted firmly on Lisa Vanderpump. Having to sue somebody to prove your marriage isn't a shame is famously a very convincing technique that always ends well for everybody involved, but that's apparently where we're headed. Poor Taylor's going to end up cast from society and selling fake Manolo Blahniks on a street corner with Cedric before this season is out, isn' she?

Adrienne
Washed a chicken with hand soap! LOL, she's so fun and crazy!

 

[C’est la VoR]

S02 E10-12: Your Face or Mine, Tempest at a Tea Party, The Great Divide

It's taken me a while to write anything about these episodes because frankly I needed a bit of time to digest what the fuck I've been watching. Luckily these three very much run into each other so I'll cover them as a feature (almost entirely skipping episode 10 because it was pretty much filler).

So I guess this is where the much-foreshadowed DARKNESS of Beverley Hills really kicks into gear. I've had my eye on the obviously troubled Kim throughout this season, but it turns out it was Taylor who was quietly unravelling in the background this whole time.

The Armstrong/Vanderpump rivaly had felt like a bit of a slightly forced sub-plot up until now, with Lisa getting performatively jealous of Taylor's close relationship with Kyle while Taylor suspected Lisa of leaking stories about her in the press. So far, so reality TV.

Lisa Vanderpump seems to me to be a natural reality TV survivor. She's rich, beautiful, sharply intelligent and seemingly has a happy and stable family life. Up until now she's moved through RHOBH with the easy confidence of a woman who doesn't really need to be doing this, but enjoys it nonetheless. Compared to the less wealthy / more fame-hungry cast members, this gives her a tremendous amount of soft power. (Equally loaded Adrienne has this power too, but in her it manifests as boringly guarded rather than spiky and fun).

It hadn't occurred to me before this episode how much Taylor clearly sits at the bottom of the heap in this respect. She's not, and has never been, famous. Her marriage is a barely concealed sham. I suspect she doesn't have much/any money of her own and the only career-related stuff we've seen is her advocacy work for abused women (which - yikes!).

So it makes total sense in retrospect that while Lisa probably didn't take her on-camera rivalry - or any aspect of her relationship - with Taylor particularly seriously, in Taylor's mind it became a fruitless life or death mission to win the approval of a woman who represents everything she aspires to be. It was never a fair fight, and in this sequence of episodes we see Taylor's facade crack wide open until she is literally screaming, wailing and begging at Lisa to be nice to her. It's rough.



The thing is, I don't actually think Lisa is being a villain here. There's an element of culture clash with Lisa's blunt Britishness rubbing against Taylor's neediness, but also I think Lisa is genuinely shocked by how much of a toll she's unwittingly taken on Taylor's psyche. She was right that Taylor totally misinterpreted her 'We're not best friends' comment - and my God, the way that offhand comment clearly got under Taylor's skin and rattled around in her brain for days/weeks until this confrontation is truly harrowing.

Given her obvious knack for self-producing storylines on her own terms (she's basically been off on her own wedding-related side plot all season, thus managing to maintain a lead role without having to turn up to the numerous group get-togethers that she clearly couldn't be bothered with ), I actually wouldn't be surprised if Lisa thought she was throwing Taylor a bone by manufacturing a relatively low-stakes rivalry. If not for the Lisa stuff, what WOULD Taylor's arc have been up until now?

Anyway, you all know what happens so I won't recap it. Suffice to say that you could have given me a thousand guesses as to what the context of this popular meme was, and I never would have gotten close.

Well, I was waiting for Camille to have a proper moment this season...

On the one hand, it's pretty reprehensible to out a woman who is potentially the subject of domestic abuse on reality television, but clearly it had been hanging in the air all season. The way the other women immediately back Camille up, the genuine fury and upset in her delivery (and having seen her sitcom turn earlier this season, we know Camille isn't that good of an actress...). it's absolutely gripping television, though it does also feel decidedly icky, and I have no idea how the show is going to reckon with this for the rest of the season.

Episode 12, which immediately follows TEA PARTY-GATE, is an extremely awkward one which seems to be trying to treat the Russel reveal as just another slice of Housewife drama. I get that this was filmed about a decade ago now, but the fact that it's told through the prism of 'can Taylor forgive Camille for blabbing' and the other women discussing how maybe Taylor should have just kept her private struggles to herself... it's not a good look for anyone involved.

It doesn't help that the centrepiece of the episode is the (obviously long pre-planned) sequel to Taylor's insane children's birthday party from Season 1. She's clearly learned nothing from that one, and in fact doubles down on the crazy with a full rodeo, a horse as a gift for a five year old, and a mortifying guest appearance from some American Idol singer who clearly did not expect his post-show career to consist of writing birthday songs for L.A. brats and their increasingly crazed mothers.

The absolute HATCHET JOB the last 10 or so minutes of episode 12 does on the Armstrong family is almost as grimly compelling as the Tea Party meltdown and the breakdown in Aspen. I genuinely have no idea how any of them can come back from it. It feels more like the stuff of grim Netflix documentaries than a frothy glimpse into the lifestyles of the rich and famous. Needless to say, I'm hooked.

 

[Phoenix]

What a haunting picture.

 

[C’est la VoR]

THE MALOOF HOOF

 

[Samanta TinAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAaaaA]

S02 E06&7

Whew, what a harrowing yet compelling double bill!

Lisa Vanderpump
Let's get Lisa out of the way first as she was off on her own side-plot for most of these episodes. Pandora is finally getting married! I'm not sure to what degree this was actually a surprise for Lisa, but her reaction did seem very sweet and genuine. But the engagement reveal was of course merely the flimsy pretext to introduce us to another instantly memorable character - FREAKISH ASIAN WEDDING GAY.

I have no idea what this person(?)'s qualification or skill set is beyond being the living embodiment of gay vomit, but every interaction with him and a clearly shellshocked Lisa had me abolutely howling.

I'm not even sure how to explain why it's so funny, but the moment when he bursts through the door and does a double air kiss about 3 feet away from her, and she just awkwardly mutters "oh, OK..." as he shimmies past her - COMEDY GOLD. I can't even find a GIF of it but just watch it back and tell me I'm wrong. (It's around 23 minutes into episode 7 on amazon, but I think something went wrong when it was uploaded, I haven't sat through so many pointless recaps of scenes I've just watched since the glory days of SUNSET BEACH).

Pandora herself seems good natured enough and just BEMUSED by the whole thing. I strongly suspect her actual wedding will happen off camera and this is just some favour she's doing for her mum.

View attachment 15391

Anyway let's move on to the main event...

GAME NIGHT (from hell)

Holy Moses, we finally found a dynamic even more toxic than Kyle and Kim on the outs - Kyle and Kim UNITED.

At this point it's painfully obvious to everyone that Kim is not in a good place and being dragged out in front of the reality TV cameras for staged social events is doing her no favours whatsoever. However, presumably burned by her unflattering edit on season 1, Kyle is in full denial mode. The scenes of her literally patching her disheveled and disoriented sister together in Dana's bathroom - while Kim rambles about having not slept or eaten for SEVEN DAYS - could be taken straight out of Death Becomes Her.

View attachment 15392

Speaking of the bathroom, I loved that even in a drug-addled fugue state, Kim STILL had the presence of mind to comment on Dana (or is it PAM )'s filthy, clearly rented house. (Was there ANY furniture?!)

Anyway we'll circle back to Dana, but the centrepiece of this episode is obviously the blow-out between the Richards Sisters and Brandi. The sisters are just relentlessly cruel and spiteful towards Brandi from the moment she hobbles through the door. This episode really shows Kyle at her ugliest once again, but to be fair Kim is the initial aggressor and is right with her the whole way.

There was something so fascinating about their body language and mannerisms when they were openly mocking her - you could actually SEE the decades fall away as they reverted back to being messed up little stage brats making fun of the other children together. I found this little exchange genuinely CHILLING

View attachment 15393View attachment 15394View attachment 15395

I felt *really* bad for Brandi who did not deserve that level of spiteful vitriol at all up until that point. But she's a fascinating addition to the cast because despite being clearly outnumbered, she absolutely refuses to defer to the gruesome twosome in any way.

Camille (who like Kyle is clearly suffering SERIOUS PTSD from her season 1 edit ) and Taylor are both joining Kyle on the denial express RE Kim, and Brandi's growing incredulity that nobody is willing to acknowledge what's happening is some dark comedy gold, which obviously builds up to the mic drop to end all mic drops.

There's obviously no coming back from that one, and the episode very nearly descends into actual physical violence (SLUT PIG! ) until poor traumatised Taylor breaks them up and the most disastrous social event of a show already packed with disastrous social events comes to an awkwardly drawn out close. (Aside: Kim and Kyle hiding Brandi's crutches is some seriously ugly shit, I was genuinely shocked they allowed themselves to be aired behaving like that).

I've already written more on this episode than I did for my dissertation, but I just have to end with some words on Dana. It is a truly incredible negative feat to feature in this episode with these women and still come out looking like the absolute worst of the worst, but somehow Dana manages it. I haven't seen a more misguided entry onto reality television since Laganja Estranja.

The disgusting house! The absolutely disastrous spread of BREAD STICKS AND DESSERT! That fucked up baby voice "Kywwwle, make her staaaph, i don't like it!"

I do have to thank her for temporarily bringing back season 1 Camille, who's DISGUSTED side eyes and smirking talking heads were absolute top tier entertainment.

View attachment 15396

And was there a more mortifying moment all episode than when she desperately tried to buddy up with Kyle after Brandi had left, only for Kyle to stare back at her blankly, completely dead behind the eyes?

View attachment 15397

Again... CHILLING!

Oh there was also some post-Game night shit at some cancer gala but I honestly don't have the time or the bandwidth!

OMG scream that this is still going!! And I am sensing genuine ENJOYMENT from watching these episodes???
Game Night is just such an iconic piece of TV. It's up there with the Dinner Party From Hell in terms of camp tv 101 - the 00s version of Dynasty or something.

I love that JUST when you think it's all about to wind down Dana/Pam comes out with her CHILLING/mortifying friends 4ever conversation with Kyle

Camille is underrated here just being forced to absorb the entire thing though gritted teeth due to contractual obligation

 

[Samanta TinAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAaaaA]

Lisa Vanderpump seems to me to be a natural reality TV survivor. She's rich, beautiful, sharply intelligent and seemingly has a happy and stable family life. Up until now she's moved through RHOBH with the easy confidence of a woman who doesn't really need to be doing this, but enjoys it nonetheless. Compared to the less wealthy / more fame-hungry cast members, this gives her a tremendous amount of soft power. (Equally loaded Adrienne has this power too, but in her it manifests as boringly guarded rather than spiky and fun).

It hadn't occurred to me before this episode how much Taylor clearly sits at the bottom of the heap in this respect. She's not, and has never been, famous. Her marriage is a barely concealed sham. I suspect she doesn't have much/any money of her own and the only career-related stuff we've seen is her advocacy work for abused women (which - yikes!).

So it makes total sense in retrospect that while Lisa probably didn't take her on-camera rivalry - or any aspect of her relationship - with Taylor particularly seriously, in Taylor's mind it became a fruitless life or death mission to win the approval of a woman who represents everything she aspires to be. It was never a fair fight, and in this sequence of episodes we see Taylor's facade crack wide open until she is literally screaming, wailing and begging at Lisa to be nice to her. It's rough.

The thing is, I don't actually think Lisa is being a villain here. There's an element of culture clash with Lisa's blunt Britishness rubbing against Taylor's neediness, but also I think Lisa is genuinely shocked by how much of a toll she's unwittingly taken on Taylor's psyche. She was right that Taylor totally misinterpreted her 'We're not best friends' comment - and my God, the way that offhand comment clearly got under Taylor's skin and rattled around in her brain for days/weeks until this confrontation is truly harrowing.

Given her obvious knack for self-producing storylines on her own terms (she's basically been off on her own wedding-related side plot all season, thus managing to maintain a lead role without having to turn up to the numerous group get-togethers that she clearly couldn't be bothered with ), I actually wouldn't be surprised if Lisa thought she was throwing Taylor a bone by manufacturing a relatively low-stakes rivalry. If not for the Lisa stuff, what WOULD Taylor's arc have been up until now?

This is such a fantastic NAILED-ON dissection of LVP at this point in the show. Chefs KISS!

 

[C’est la VoR]

Jesus Christ at the absolute horror show that this is descending into

S02 E13: Adrienne's Fashion Show & S02 E14: Malibu Beach Party From Hell

Adrienne
So clearly either Adrienne is feeling insecure or the producers have had a word in her ear about how terminally BORING she is, because in the first of these two episodes she's going all-out to generate a storyline. Most of this revolves around her shoe line, which has never once been mentioned before but is apparently her lifelong passion. The whole thing could not be more of an obvious vanity project, but I did find the scenes of her team of lackeys/grifters/'consultants' trying not to visibly die inside at her vapid and terrible design ideas to be possibly the most entertaining Adrienne content so far, so in that sense, mission accomplished?

Lisa Vanderpump

Speaking of entertaining Adrienne content, Lisa's utterly vicious MALOOF HOOF read has been living rent free in my head all week. A line so deceptively lighthearted yet apocalyptically vicious that it could only have been uttered by a woman who made her millions via the London gay party circuit in the 80s.

Between that and Adrienne pretending to be deeply hurt that Pandora didn't have her bachelor party at one of her venues, it seems there's trouble a'brewin' for Beverley Hills' top dogs. Adrienne really should know better. She'll be nothing more than a charred corpse with tacky hair extensions before this season's out.

Kyle & Kim
Kim is almost entirely absent from these two episodes, save a single scene of her muttering semi-coherently while emptying a washing machine.

Without family drama to draw on, Kyle is mostly in a supporting role, which is a lot more tolerable. There's a very who cares? sub-plot about her mother in law getting a facelift, but her most meaty stuff is her role as Taylor's biggest remaining supporter on the cast, which I'll get to below...


Taylor, Camille, DEDE and the Malibu Beach Party from Hell Part 2
Taylor's still mad a Camille for ratting her out for being a domestic abuse victim. So rude!

Honestly, the tone of this sub-plot is absolutely insane to me. Surely in 2023 it wouldn't be framed like this?

I talked about the unbalanced dynamic between Taylor and Lisa in my last write-up, but it struck me this week that there's a similar power imbalance between Taylor and Camille. Like Lisa and Adrienne, Camille clearly has enough weight to choose what she gives away of herself very carefully. We see virtually nothing of her children or her home life, and while the drama with Kelsey is often mentioned, it happens entirely offscreen. Taylor on the other hand is frequently horribly exposed, as is the case yet again at the climax of this episode.

The descent of Brandi's beach party is such a ludicrous combination of camp madness and genuine pathos that I think it gave me whiplash. I'm not really sure it's possible to summarise the wine-fueled insanity in any remotely coherent way, but I love the fact that Camille somehow repeats her season one trick of reigning unholy hellfire upon the entire group via one of her alcohol-pickled flying monkeys, in this case the sexually frustrated suicide bomber that is DEDE.

It's all hilarious and unedifying in equal measure, with sad sack Dede CLEARLY manifesting her own issues with her lopsided love affair with Camille, Adrienne and Kyle trying desperately to save Taylor from herself, the unexpected birth of a CAT MEME and this bizarre giraffe woman and her Marianne Williamson-esque interventions.

All that being said, my heart genuinely broke for Taylor when it ended (again) with her completely broken and screaming "It's not fair, it's not fair, it's not fair" at nobody in particular. Harrowing fucking stuff. I really can't imagine how at this point, but I really hope this somehow ends with her getting the help she needs.



Anyway, looking forward to next week's instalment - Kim loses custody of her kids!

 

[THEY CALL ME GAJA]

via one of her alcohol-pickled flying monkeys

View attachment 16541

The audacity of Camille’s I hate drama always makes me giggle

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The “WE ARE AN EVOLVED SPECIES” background yelling from the woman who wrote Whitney Houston’s I Have Nothing is one of the show’s most underrated moments

 

[Phoenix]

I can’t wait for you to finish this season that everytime you post I go and look at how many episodes are left and I’m shocked that you’re barely there. This was the era of bloated seasons.

 

[TiShh]

@VoR have I ever made it clear you are my FAVOURITE poster?

 

[C’est la VoR]

I can’t wait for you to finish this season that everytime you post I go and look at how many episodes are left and I’m shocked that you’re barely there. This was the era of bloated seasons.

I have been wondering how much more drama this season can possibly sustain. Is it just going to end up with a shot of Lisa Vanderpump staggering across a pile of burning skeletons amid the charred remnants of Kim Richards stolen fucking house?

 

[C’est la VoR]

Forgot to mention my favourite aspect of the fight - the way everyone (Camille included) kept grabbing Dede and physically shoving her off the balcony, but she just keeps coming back!

What an absolute nightmare.

 

[jivafox]

I have been wondering how much more drama this season can possibly sustain. Is it just going to end up with a shot of Lisa Vanderpump staggering across a pile of burning skeletons amid the charred remnants of Kim Richards stolen fucking house?

The outcome of this season is SO MUCH DARKER

 

[Phoenix]

The outcome of this season is SO MUCH DARKER

Don’t you dare spoil it. I’ve been waiting for months for the reaction.

 

[jivafox]

Don’t you dare spoil it. I’ve been waiting for months for the reaction.

Never!

 

[Samanta TinAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAaaaA]

Adrienne
So clearly either Adrienne is feeling insecure or the producers have had a word in her ear about how terminally BORING she is, because in the first of these two episodes she's going all-out to generate a storyline. Most of this revolves around her shoe line, which has never once been mentioned before but is apparently her lifelong passion. The whole thing could not be more of an obvious vanity project, but I did find the scenes of her team of lackeys/grifters/'consultants' trying not to visibly die inside at her vapid and terrible design ideas to be possibly the most entertaining Adrienne content so far, so in that sense, mission accomplished?

I love that you picked up on this Adrienne's utterly uselessness becomes a mildly entertaining diversion from the madness of the rest as the show hurtles towards its conclusion.

I actually forgot that the BEACH HOUSE FIGHT was still to come this season, it has such a stacked second half!
Out of the Beverley Hills early season BIG THREE (dinner party from hell, game night, beach house) it's certainly my least favourite just because Taylor is clearly desperately unravelling at this point and probably should not be being filmed at this point in proceedings.
THAT SAID it is a batshit and thrilling watch, and really does demonstrate the ROCKET FUEL abilities of middle aged women and potent white wine

The balcony overlooking the sea in this episode always gives me so much fear, even though I now know nobody goes over. There are so many SWEEPING SHOTS of the COLD DARK SEA it feels like its setting the show up for a PLUNGE!

 

[Samanta TinAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAaaaA]

Oh I do hope we get to see the day VoR delves into New York and the utter white-knuckle HORROR that is the Scary Island episodes

 

[C’est la VoR]

I love that you picked up on this Adrienne's utterly uselessness becomes a mildly entertaining diversion from the madness of the rest as the show hurtles towards its conclusion.

I actually forgot that the BEACH HOUSE FIGHT was still to come this season, it has such a stacked second half!
Out of the Beverley Hills early season BIG THREE (dinner party from hell, game night, beach house) it's certainly my least favourite just because Taylor is clearly desperately unravelling at this point and probably should not be being filmed at this point in proceedings.

I found it very telling the way Adrienne kept physically placing her hand over Taylor's mouth at the height of the balcony fight. She was clearly trying to protect her from saying anything on camera that she'd regret. In that respect she's probably the most sensible and principled person in the cast - but it obviously speaks to how intensely guarded she is about her own shit as well, and I'm sure the producers were raging at her attempts to sabotage the moment!

 

[THEY CALL ME GAJA]

I found it very telling the way Adrienne kept physically placing her hand over Taylor's mouth at the height of the balcony fight. She was clearly trying to protect her from saying anything on camera that she'd regret. In that respect she's probably the most sensible and principled person in the cast - but it obviously speaks to how intensely guarded she is about her own shit as well, and I'm sure the producers were raging at her attempts to sabotage the moment!

Yes, and I found her to be proactively helpful in the limo scene fight as well. When I watched it at the time, Adrienne was always my favourite.

 

[Ha-lucy-nation]

I can’t get enough of vor does housewives, I screamed at sexually frustrated suicide bomber!

I admire the way you’re pacing yourself, I binged this season in under a week.