Moopyvision 2000-2009: Round 5 - Croatia, Latvia, Serbia & Montenegro RESULTS

[D5K]

I just disovered that the same person wrote Vise nisam tvoja, Senhora do mar, Cvet z Juga, and Femminem's Call Me...

...and it's the blonde male dancer on the left of Claudia's performance!

Mind blown.

 

[Diddy]

Help, I can't tell if Croatia 2003 is awful or if the Bev Knight Keep this fire burning choreo of death is just sending me

 

[Penelope]

I just disovered that the same person wrote Vise nisam tvoja, Senhora do mar, Cvet z Juga, and Femminem's Call Me...

...and it's the blonde male dancer on the left of Claudia's performance!

Mind blown.

Omg THAT'S Andrej Babić?!

I thought it was Kala!

 

[Diddy]

OK I don't care what else Latvia dredge up - acapella is an instant disqualification for me

 

[win_the_game]

If amyone wanted to exercise their right as a conscientious objector to Latvia, I wouldn’t blame them.

 

[Diddy]

I have forfeit my right to abstain, by jolly well jolly voting

 

[Ill Advised]

If amyone wanted to exercise their right as a conscientious objector to Latvia, I wouldn’t blame them.

I was close. What a pile of old shit

 

[VoR]

There's very much a top and bottom half to the Latvian songs for me, but I quite enjoyed my entire top three!

 

[dmlaw]

Latvia is much better than Ireland. They have one all time classic and then at least the rest are various different kinds of rot. Ireland had six examples of exactly the same rot.

 

[Jacques]

I'd say I like my entire top 5 of Latvia.

Fun fact: one of my friends considers one of the Latvian bunch her favourite Eurovision entry of all time.

 

[Soldi]

I'd say I like my entire top 5 of Latvia.

Fun fact: one of my friends considers one of the Latvian bunch her favourite Eurovision entry of all time.

You should not be friends.

 

[D5K]

I'd say I like my entire top 5 of Latvia.

We should not be friends.

 

[ButterTart]

You should not be friends.

Some of my friends quite correctly say Wolves of the Sea is their favourite Eurovision song.

 

[Penelope]

As having it this evening or Tuesday would clash with ASFXMas - and because voting is down on previous rounds - I'm announcing an EXTENSION of the vote until WEDNESDAY 4pm. Reminders to all the following! @NUT ROAST @Hey Kratz It’s Christmas @Tetris-Rock @Kevin @Kevin7 @Madison @Apocalypt Flyer @Reindeer On Me @Feliz NavidAg @Dark Carnoël @PopLife @Alla want for Xmas is you @PranceRJN

 

[Penelope]

Also @Merry Tischmas! I seem to RECALL you saying you'd be back in from this round

 

[Tisch]

Also @Merry Tischmas! I seem to RECALL you saying you'd be back in from this round

I was going to, then I couldn't be bothered However if the deadline's extended count me VERY IN!

 

[win_the_game]

I disagree with this last minute deadline extension. I submitted a VALID and LEGITIMATE vote. I can only suspect Poison Pen doesn't like the results and wants others to vote and cancel me out.

 

[Penelope]

I disagree with this last minute deadline extension. I submitted a VALID and LEGITIMATE vote. I can only suspect Poison Pen doesn't like the results and wants others to vote and cancel me out.

Actually the opposite I was QUITE DELIGHTED with where the standings were lunchtime Monday but also sensed I probably wouldn't be able to justify closing the voting with 2/3rds usual turnout and two days before results could happen as anything other than a total stitch-up

 

[Penelope]

Does anyone want a RESULTS ROUND OR TWO tonight?

 

[VoR]

I'm very proud that you're honouring my tradition and we can expect an ultimate winner from this to be crowned sometime mid-2025.

But snark aside, yes, please continue!

 

[Penelope]

I'm very proud that you're honouring my tradition and we can expect an ultimate winner from this to be crowned sometime mid-2025.

But snark aside, yes, please continue!

I'm aiming to finish BEFORE Eurovision 2022

 

[Soldi]

I'm aiming to finish BEFORE Eurovision 2022

Maybe I’ll finish my sweepstake before then too

 

[Penelope]

Let's start with SERBIA

4th: Marko Kon & Milaan - Cipela

MARKO KON & MILAAN...

...you received from the public...




...I'm sorry...


...3 POINTS

Setting a record BY FAR for one of these (the previous being Zsob si Zdub - So Lucky's haul of 11 points for Moldova 2010-2019), can you really be shocked? Really, the wonder is why Serbia decided after a run of two top 3 results and a creditable top 10 on home turf that the formula for success was sending two men to do a comedy track about a shoe. In keeping with the 'curse of last year's host', really the only answer that stands up is that the annual bill from hosting the thing must have scared them off the idea of sending anything competitive again any time soon.

Anyway, you all have @Mulled_wine_and_game to thank for it getting as many as three!

1 x 3 (@Mulled_wine_and_game)
18 x 0 (EVERYONE ELSE)

 

[Soldi]

What on EARTH did WTG think was WORSE THAN THIS?!

 

[Saltwater]

Now am curious to see which of the remaining ones got @Mulled_wine_and_game's zero

 

[VoR]

I didn't actually despise Cipela on revisiting it, as far as obvious towel-throwing entries go. But you'd have to be deaf and insane to rate it above a strong three of Serbia's quality.

 

[D5K]

I like Cipela! Better than most of the Latvian lineup for instance.

 

[Penelope]

3rd: Jelena Tomašević - Oro (110pts)

One that caused all manner of squawking and carping at the time about how it wasn't at all cricket for the host of the contest to pen one of the entries, this probably represents Serbia at their most Serbian as Eurovision entries go - right down to the lyric asking to be woken up on Vidovdan, the day commemorating Serbia's historic 14th century military defeat of the Ottoman horde at the Battle of Kosovo. Well, if you can't do jingoistic chauvinism while hosting the thing on on home ground, when can you? (this is not an invitation for the UK to go full Clare Richards ft. Jay Aston - Brexit Means Brexit! at the MEN Arena some day)

1 x 12 (@Here Comes Soldi Claus)
7 x 3 (Suomi, Queen of the Bay, Jacques, Diddy, dmlaw, Kevin7, Tetris-Rock)

 

[Saltwater]

I think it could have got straight 12s if it was not competing against the other two.

 

[Soldi]

I could have EASILY given Lane moje or Molitva my twelve but this is one of my ALL TIME FAVES

 

[Penelope]

2nd: Željko Joksimović - Lane moje (126pts)

Serbia's big return, and one which pretty much set the template for most of their entries to the contest, give or take the odd Loco Loco or Ovo je Balkan. This one went down almost instantly as a modern classic, mesmering more or less everyone (with the exception of that dickhead Wogan, who of course spent it chortling away about nose flutes and acting befuddled during the results at those Estonians giving it neighbourly Baltic votes etc).

It wasn't quite enough to take the gong at the 2004 contest - the sheer overload of men in white suits with ballads meant something with as much life as Wild Dances was too much of a welcome port in a storm for viewers that year - but frankly it stands tall enough by itself. I always think the firm mark of quality for this one is that it managed to overcome the UK's historic aversion to anything of this ilk to tot up a few points from British viewers, which is quite the achievement all else considered.

5 x 12 (Penelope, Suomi, VoR, Diddy, win_the_game)
8 x 3 (Music, auretz, ButterTart, David 5000, Ill Advised, Pingu, ZenGiraffe, Tisch)

 

[VoR]

I was sure Lane Moje would walk this if Oro didn't.

 

[Penelope]

1st: Marija Šerifović - Molitva (179pts)

It is a known fact that if you want to win the Eurovision Song Contest, what do you do? You SEND FOR SOME LESBIANS

I'll confess - powerful though this is when it goes into the big money note, I'm not *entirely* sure what put this over the top as the winner in retrospect, particularly when up against the obvious populist appeal of Verka. Nonetheless, this was the big Balkan ballad that finally could for the Serbs, with the charms of the ever luscious pouting Beauty Queens giving it a bit of arm on shoulder to make up for Marija's bulldog chewing a wasp chic.

Anyway, if the callbacks for Verka compared to Marija since are anything to go by, this one certainly hasn't stood up as much in the producers' affections as it has in Moopy's, but nonetheless it easily coasts past Zeljko's duo to get the Serbian ticket to the semi-finals here. Marija went on to endorse the Serbian hard right and come out formally as a lesbian, but not before totting up one of the ALL-TIME GREAT fake lavender relationships with Montenegrin mincing wonder Slavko Kalezić, later of Space fame

13 x 12 (Queen of the Bay, Music, auretz, ButterTart, Jacques, David 5000, Ill Advised, Pingu, dmlaw, ZenGiraffe, Kevin7, Tisch, Tetris-Rock)
1 x 0 (win_the_game)

 

[Soldi]

Can’t believe WTG hates LESBAINS

 

[Pingu]

I think what pushed it over the edge to the win in 2007 was that it's very much of Big Balkan Ballad pedigree at a time they were at their Eurovision peak, but it's structured in a very western way, so it had something that everyone could latch onto.

 

[win_the_game]

Can’t believe WTG hates LESBAINS

No I just hate the song and far-right nationalists.

 

[VoR]

It's nice that Serbia got a win I guess, but I can't say I ever feel the need to revisit Molitva.

 

[dmlaw]

I don’t know about Molitva not standing up in the producers affections. You didn’t see them asking Verka to do an emotional version of her song in the empty streets for Europe Shine A Light.

 

[Penelope]

And we may as well do MONTENEGRO while we're at it too

4th: Stefan Filipović - Zauvijek volim te (40pts)

Sometimes I can really feel the fact that I'm forcing you to give points to all but one of the entries. I can feel it bleed through the screen with each individual DM, the sheer disdain that you even have to acknowledge what you're having to put a number next to that isn't 0. I feel your pain - I understand your pain.

Montenegro didn't get the memo in 2008 that the sludgy biker rock which had left it in the semis for its first independent entry the year before very much wasn't what the judges were looking for from them, and were condemned to stay there for a second year in a row. For my money - and, by and large, yours - this was faintly better than the crud they sent in 2007, but I can't confess either way to be rushing to the streaming platforms any time soon to find out what he put out into the world after this. And ultimately, you know a rock entry is a load of old shit when even ButterTart and dmlaw can't bring themselves to muster a hint of enthusiasm for it.

1 x 7 (Ill Advised - ???????)
6 x 0 (Soldi, Queen of the Bay, ButterTart, dmlaw, ZenGiraffe, Tisch)

 

[Penelope]

3rd: Stevan Faddy - 'Ajde kroči (48pts)

Search me, babes.

2 x 12 (Queen of the Bay, ButterTart)
12 x 0 (Penelope, Suomi, VoR, Music, auretz, Jacques, David 5000, win_the_game, Diddy, Ill Advised, Pingu, Kevin7)