Eurovision 2022: THE FINAL (20:00 BST)

[La Peneloupée monte le son]

Just AN HOUR AND A HALF!

01 Czech Republic: We Are Domi - Lights Off
02 Romania: WRS - Llámame
03 Portugal: Maro - Saudade, saudade
04 Finland: The Rasmus - Jezebel
05 Switzerland: Marius Bear - Boys Do Cry
06 France: Alvan & Ahez - Fulenn
07 Norway: Subwoolfer - Give That Wolf A Banana
08 Armenia: Rosa Linn - Snap
09 Italy: Mahmood & Blanco - Brividi
10 Spain: Chanel - SloMo
11 Netherlands: S10: De diepte
12 Ukraine: Kalush Orchestra - Stefania (Стефанія)
13 Germany: Malik Harris - Rockstars
14 Lithuania: Monika Liu - Sentimentai
15 Azerbaijan: Nadir Rüstamli - Fade to Black
16 Belgium: Jérémie Makiese - Miss You
17 Greece: Amanda Georgiadi Tenfjord - Die Together
18 Iceland: Systur - Með hækkandi sól
19 Moldova: Zdob și Zdub & Advahov - Trenulețul
20 Sweden: Cornelia Jakobs - Hold Me Closer
21 Australia: Sheldon Riley - Not The Same
22 United Kingdom: Sam Ryder - Space Man
23 Poland: Ochman - River
24 Serbia: Konstrakta - In corpore sano
25 Estonia: Stefan - Hope

 

[Hard Rock Ag-elujah]

Taking meds to stop palpitations.

 

[ButterTart]

Holy shit is this tonight?

 

[Hard Rock Ag-elujah]

My last prediction is that only two countries have a path to victory and they both begin with U.

 

[Hard Rock Ag-elujah]

Holy shit is this tonight?

It's a preview show.

Oh God that used to be a thing.

 

[Ig Komme]

Holy shit is this tonight?

Mostly, though Sam is performing tomorrow.

 

[ButterTart]

I will never find that run from 11 to 28 socially acceptable

 

[KNT]

I'm making the people I've invited round watch non-qualifiers. They're big fans of Derry Lipa (because I would fight them if they weren't), and the Danish rockers. Not so big on MBD.

 

[ButterTart]

My last prediction is that only two countries have a path to victory and they both begin with U.

I’m glad you said that, I’ve just put £1000 on Uruguay.

 

[Rita]

This FOOTBALL NONSENSE better be finished before 8.

 

[Broomhelga]

Do we know the order that the jury votes are being presented in yet?

 

[Alias #23]

I will never find that run from 11 to 28 socially acceptable

Babes do you mean 18? I must say my nerves are playing havoc with my typing!!!?()8(:4679843cvjucf

 

[win_the_game]

Babes do you mean 18? I must say my nerves are playing havoc with my typing!!!?()8(:4679843cvjucf

He was talking about the run of interval acts and miscellaneous chatter.

 

[Alias #23]

I'm making the people I've invited round watch non-qualifiers. They're big fans of Derry Lipa (because I would fight them if they weren't), and the Danish rockers. Not so big on MBD.

Poor MBD

 

[Soldi Elektronike]

Do we know the order that the jury votes are being presented in yet?

Yes but it isn’t based on the jury votes, it was decided weeks ago.

 

[Alias #23]

He was talking about the run of interval acts and miscellaneous chatter.

I do hope we get to meet important Italian acts such as Angie Care and Susanne Meals at some point

 

[Una Kratz Per San Marino]

Can Diddy tell us who won yet?

 

[Una Kratz Per San Marino]

I do hope we get to meet important Italian acts such as Angie Care and Susanne Meals at some point

Don’t for get her from the Dolmio ads

 

[ButterTart]

Babes do you mean 18? I must say my nerves are playing havoc with my typing!!!?()8(:4679843cvjucf

I do indeed mean 18

 

[Rita]

Are the Moopy members who are there currently IN THE ARENA?

 

[Alias #23]

Are the Moopy members who are there currently IN THE ARENA?

No, they’ve all had their bags stolen with their tickets in them

It’s all VERY VERY SAD

 

[Rita]

No, they’ve all had their bags stolen with their tickets in them

It’s all VERY VERY SAD

I wasn’t sure if they just went over to SOAK UP THE ATMOSPHERE?

 

[Beverley]

Hi Moopy, this is Ms Bev, (still a)live from a Scottish pub in a shady corner of Turin. Local gammons and gammons-in-training have donned Brexity outfits and are already sweating themselves with rage at it all being ‘political’. Spanish fans have threatened to riot through the city if Chanel doesn’t win, @Soldi has slotted a firework into his arse in anticipation of a British victory and @COB has forgotten his sandwiches! All in all, it’s shaping up to be a memorable Eurovision night. Now back to the studio,@ButterTart.

 

[win_the_game]

Are the Moopy members who are there currently IN THE ARENA?

The last thing we need is @VoR and @Soldi elbowing their way onto the screen again like they did on Tuesday. Fame hungry that pair

 

[Alias #23]

I wasn’t sure if they just went over to SOAK UP THE ATMOSPHERE?

Playing Twister and cribbage in the Airbnb certainly did the trick

 

[ButterTart]

Hi Moopy, this is Ms Bev, (still a)live from a Scottish pub in a shady corner of Turin. Local gammons and gammons-in-training have donned Brexity outfits and are already sweating themselves with rage at it all being ‘political’. Spanish fans have threatened to riot through the city if Chanel doesn’t win, @Soldi has slotted a firework into his arse in anticipation of a British victory and @COB has forgotten his sandwiches! All in all, it’s shaping up to be a memorable Eurovision night. Now back to the studio,@ButterTart.

Thanks Bev. In sports news, Chelsea and Liverpool are facing off in the FA cup final. Chelsea has just been awarded 12 points by Aston Villa but there’s still the public vote to come.

 

[Una Kratz Per San Marino]

I wasn’t sure if they just went over to SOAK UP THE ATMOSPHERE?

To be fair, it isn’t a silly question because that is what a lot of people do!

 

[Una Kratz Per San Marino]

I feel like watching this (dreadful) FA Cup final followed immediately by Eurovision just about sums me up.

 

[rhythmba-la-la-la-la]

This FOOTBALL NONSENSE better be finished before 8.

I heard they might delay the start by 30 minutes if not!

 

[Alias #23]

Achtung any of the Torino Girls who are still speaking to me ( - think I’m down to @Soldi and @COB )

Are mobiles allowed in the arena? I’ve not noticed anyone waving them around but I may not have paid sufficient attention

 

[Rita]

I heard they might delay the start by 30 minutes if not!

WASH YOUR SILLY MOUTH OUT.

 

[win_the_game]

I see SuRie managed to get her shift changed at Pizza Express so she can appear on Pointless on BBC2.

And Mans is hoping to win the grand prize, equivalent to a monthly mortgage payment on a Barratt Home.

And they've landed John Lundvik too. WHAT A COUP!

 

[Rita]

Achtung any of the Torino Girls who are still speaking to me ( - think I’m down to @Soldi and @COB )

Are mobiles allowed in the arena? I’ve not noticed anyone waving them around but I may not have paid sufficient attention

Are you watching NOW?

 

[COB]

Achtung any of the Torino Girls who are still speaking to me ( - think I’m down to @Soldi and @COB )

Are mobiles allowed in the arena? I’ve not noticed anyone waving them around but I may not have paid sufficient attention

They are, and at the semi final there was sometimes a sign asking you to TURN ON PHONE LIGHT for waving purposes

 

[Alias #23]

Are you watching NOW?

No, there’s something on telly involving a BALL and PEOPLE

BEWILDERING

 

[Broomhelga]

Yes but it isn’t based on the jury votes, it was decided weeks ago.

Interesting. Ta. It used to be a bit of a giveaway.

 

[Rita]

They are, and at the semi final there was sometimes a sign asking you to TURN ON PHONE LIGHT for waving purposes

Are you there now Connor? Are you crammed in like sardines? Do you have seats? Are you close to a bar?

 

[Alias #23]

Are you there now Connor? Are you crammed in like sardines? Do you have seats? Are you close to a bar?

Yes, can you let us know please Connor ()

 

[COB]

Are you there now Connor? Are you crammed in like sardines? Do you have seats? Are you close to a bar?

No no, we were in the arena for Semi 1 on Tuesday and the Semi 2 jury show on Wednesday. I'm on the way to a Scottish bar in the centre of Turin to watch at the moment

 

[COB]

Quite like CONNOR to be fair!