Moopyvision 2000-2009: Round 4 - France, Bosnia & Ireland RESULTS

I'm glad Mickey Joe hasn't fallen against any of this shower so far. The only body worth retrieving from this decade-long train wreck.
I would have assumed that you would be with me on the ‘Et Cetera is actually quite good’ train.
 
5th: Dustin the Turkey - Irelande douze pointe (117pts)
_44675670_turkey1.512.jpg


I was going to say I wasn't sure whether my giving this shameless Verka-aping nonsense a 12 was a protest vote or not. But let's be honest - this is about as close as this round gets to a sniff of :disco:, isn't it? Some may say this is nothing but lowest common denominator disdain for the contest, but to them I say - Tesco Mary's up there belting for the gods over 2Unlimited's finest leftover demo amidst this SLOP AND HORROR, and you had the NERVE to ignore it? You UTTER FUCKING PIGS!

(:D at "DID WE WIN?")

6 x 12 (@Penelope, @AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAaaaA, @Jacques, @Zu 2, @David 5000, @Ag)
4 x 0 (@Queen of the Bay, @Music, @Diddy, @Kevin7)
 
4th: Dervish - They Can’t Stop the Spring (125pts)
maxresdefault.jpg


corbyndervish.jpeg


I don’t know. Between the originator of the quote Pablo Neruda being killed during Pinochet’s coup d’etat of Chile, Jeremy Corbyn's 2019 election result, and this getting a total of five points (all from an Albanian backup jury), I’m starting to get the feeling they probably CAN stop the spring.

2 x 12 (@Ill Advised, @Diddy)
1 x 0 (@David 5000)
 
5th: Dustin the Turkey - Irelande douze pointe (117pts)
_44675670_turkey1.512.jpg


I was going to say I wasn't sure whether my giving this shameless Verka-aping nonsense a 12 was a protest vote or not. But let's be honest - this is about as close as this round gets to a sniff of :disco:, isn't it? Some may say this is nothing but lowest common denominator disdain for the contest, but to them I say - Tesco Mary's up there belting for the gods over 2Unlimited's finest leftover demo amidst this SLOP AND HORROR, and you had the NERVE to ignore it? You UTTER FUCKING PIGS!

(:D at "DID WE WIN?")

6 x 12 (@Penelope, @AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAaaaA, @Jacques, @Zu 2, @David 5000, @Ag)
4 x 0 (@Queen of the Bay, @Music, @Diddy, @Kevin7)
Wait, what the fuck did I give my 12 to then?
 
Dervish is exactly the sort of song that I would normally be all over, but it just isn’t very good. 10 points, if you must know.
 
3rd: Donna & Joe - Love? (127pts)
original


Finer men than me (okay fine just @Kratz) have spent veritable minutes of their lives puzzling over what exactly that question mark is supposed to mean, but my god, that really is only the BEGINNING of the utter STATE AND SPECTACLE we're meant to behold here!

Like a lavender relationship of a duet, I'm not sure this can be described as anything other than Ireland’s own Jemini moment. Recruited from talent contest You’re A Star!, you can't half help but wonder exactly who thought these two were stars - Donna you can just about understand, but JOE?

This starts hideously out of the gate, but I found myself watching SLACKJAWED and AGOG at it all as it somehow got even WORSE AND MORE LUDICROUS as it went on. The spinning! The tapdancing! The fucking KEY CHANGE! THE MOMENT IT GOES INTO EVEN MORE TAPDANCING! Obviously this was slaughtered in its crib by Donna & Joe themselves, but good god - it COMES TO SOMETHING when you've put together a package where you can say something as ridiculous as Make My Day does EVERYTHING it does BUT BETTER! Truly one of the WORST/GREATEST Eurovision entries EVER!

1 x 12 (@Suomi)
2 x 0 (@Ill Advised, @Ag)
 
4th: Dervish - They Can’t Stop the Spring (125pts)
maxresdefault.jpg


View attachment 6517

I don’t know. Between the originator of the quote Pablo Neruda being killed during Pinochet’s coup d’etat of Chile, Jeremy Corbyn's 2019 election result, and this getting a total of five points (all from an Albanian backup jury), I’m starting to get the feeling they probably CAN stop the spring.

2 x 12 (@Ill Advised, @Diddy)
1 x 0 (@David 5000)
I absolutely loved how drunk she was. There's literally nothing else complimentary I can say about it.
 
Oh
3rd: Donna & Joe - Love? (127pts)
original


Finer men than me (okay fine just @Kratz) have spent veritable minutes of their lives puzzling over what exactly that question mark is supposed to mean, but my god, that really is only the BEGINNING of the utter STATE AND SPECTACLE we're meant to behold here!

Like a lavender relationship of a duet, I'm not sure this can be described as anything other than Ireland’s own Jemini moment. Recruited from talent contest You’re A Star!, you can't half help but wonder exactly who thought these two were stars - Donna you can just about understand, but JOE?

This starts hideously out of the gate, but I found myself watching SLACKJAWED and AGOG at it all as it somehow got even WORSE AND MORE LUDICROUS as it went on. The spinning! The tapdancing! The fucking KEY CHANGE! THE MOMENT IT GOES INTO EVEN MORE TAPDANCING! Obviously this was slaughtered in its crib by Donna & Joe themselves, but good god - it COMES TO SOMETHING when you've put together a package where you can say something as ridiculous as Make My Day does EVERYTHING it does BUT BETTER! Truly one of the WORST/GREATEST Eurovision entries EVER!

1 x 12 (@Suomi)
2 x 0 (@Ill Advised, @Ag)
It’s all just so so STUPID! :D

How has this country won seven times?!
 
3rd: Donna & Joe - Love? (127pts)
original


Finer men than me (okay fine just @Kratz) have spent veritable minutes of their lives puzzling over what exactly that question mark is supposed to mean, but my god, that really is only the BEGINNING of the utter STATE AND SPECTACLE we're meant to behold here!

Like a lavender relationship of a duet, I'm not sure this can be described as anything other than Ireland’s own Jemini moment. Recruited from talent contest You’re A Star!, you can't half help but wonder exactly who thought these two were stars - Donna you can just about understand, but JOE?

This starts hideously out of the gate, but I found myself watching SLACKJAWED and AGOG at it all as it somehow got even WORSE AND MORE LUDICROUS as it went on. The spinning! The tapdancing! The fucking KEY CHANGE! THE MOMENT IT GOES INTO EVEN MORE TAPDANCING! Obviously this was slaughtered in its crib by Donna & Joe themselves, but good god - it COMES TO SOMETHING when you've put together a package where you can say something as ridiculous as Make My Day does EVERYTHING it does BUT BETTER! Truly one of the WORST/GREATEST Eurovision entries EVER!

1 x 12 (@Suomi)
2 x 0 (@Ill Advised, @Ag)
oh it's just everything to me. It's probably one of the most relatable Eurovision entries of all time - two young gays living their dream and just thoroughly luxuriating in every second. My absolute favourite moment is from 2:22-2:24 where Joe can no longer contained his joie d'vivre and just full on starts spinning out of control :o
 
2nd: Mickey Joe Harte - We've Got The World (175pts)
maxresdefault.jpg


Back to men who look like cwej, boys. After the gauntlet of horror we've just made our way through, this almost feels underwhelming to have to write up (what? a NORMAL SONG?), but as the closest the Irish felt like they came to a respectable moment all decade I suppose it's earned a due - though even then, it's still just as much of a rip-off of the winner that came three years before as Millennium of Love.

Anyway, he turned up as the first winner of the You're A Star series in Ireland, bagged himself an eleventh place finish from a third place slot, got himself six weeks at number one in the Irish charts with it, and I'm told has spent every Friday night singing it three times in a row at closing time in a pub somewhere along the border since. And if that isn't a happy ending compared to the rest of this sorry lot, I don't know what is.

8 x 12 (@Queen of the Bay, @win_the_game, @Kratz, @ButterTart, @Kevin7, @Music, @Pingu, @Raining On Me)
1 x 2 (@AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAaaaA)
 
2nd: Mickey Joe Harte - We've Got The World (175pts)
maxresdefault.jpg


Back to men who look like cwej, boys. After the gauntlet of horror we've just made our way through, this almost feels underwhelming to have to write up (what? a NORMAL SONG?), but as the closest the Irish felt like they came to a respectable moment all decade I suppose it's earned a due - though even then, it's still just as much of a rip-off of the winner that came three years before as Millennium of Love.

Anyway, he turned up as the first winner of the You're A Star series in Ireland, bagged himself an eleventh place finish from a third place slot, got himself six weeks at number one in the Irish charts with it, and I'm told has spent every Friday night singing it three times in a row at closing time in a pub somewhere along the border since. And if that isn't a happy ending compared to the rest of this sorry lot, I don't know what is.

8 x 12 (@Queen of the Bay, @win_the_game, @Kratz, @ButterTart, @Kevin7, @Music, @Pingu, @Raining On Me)
1 x 2 (@AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAaaaA)
I’m going to calm down a bit now. I actually rather like this - it was my easy 12.
 
1st: Sinead Mulvey & Black Daisy - Et cetera (190pts)
d35399950af94e2ebf53ccb4423168f4.jpg


There you go boys, that's what it takes to win an Irish round. Being a fairly hard done by non-qualifier that probably would've made it had it not been performing from second doing a fairly decent power pop track.

Wikipedia reliably informs me that Black Daisy split immediately after this, with Sinead Mulvey returning to her job as an air hostess with Aer Lingus. I imagine nobody involved with this has discussed this or spoken with each other even once since the turn of the decade. Ladies and gentlemen - your winner :disco:



3 x 12 (@auretz, @ZenGiraffe, @dmlaw)
3 x 4 (@Kratz, @VoR, @Pingu)
 
2nd: Mickey Joe Harte - We've Got The World (175pts)
maxresdefault.jpg


Back to men who look like cwej, boys. After the gauntlet of horror we've just made our way through, this almost feels underwhelming to have to write up (what? a NORMAL SONG?), but as the closest the Irish felt like they came to a respectable moment all decade I suppose it's earned a due - though even then, it's still just as much of a rip-off of the winner that came three years before as Millennium of Love.

Anyway, he turned up as the first winner of the You're A Star series in Ireland, bagged himself an eleventh place finish from a third place slot, got himself six weeks at number one in the Irish charts with it, and I'm told has spent every Friday night singing it three times in a row at closing time in a pub somewhere along the border since. And if that isn't a happy ending compared to the rest of this sorry lot, I don't know what is.

8 x 12 (@Queen of the Bay, @win_the_game, @Kratz, @ButterTart, @Kevin7, @Music, @Pingu, @Raining On Me)
1 x 2 (@AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAaaaA)
This is clearly the best Eurovision song of the decade though.
 
1st: Sinead Mulvey & Black Daisy - Et cetera (190pts)
d35399950af94e2ebf53ccb4423168f4.jpg


There you go boys, that's what it takes to win an Irish round. Being a fairly hard done by non-qualifier that probably would've made it had it not been performing from second doing a fairly decent power pop track.

Wikipedia reliably informs me that Black Daisy split immediately after this, with Sinead Mulvey returning to her job as an air hostess with Aer Lingus. I imagine nobody involved with this has discussed this or spoken with each other even once since the turn of the decade. Ladies and gentlemen - your winner :disco:



3 x 12 (@auretz, @ZenGiraffe, @dmlaw)
3 x 4 (@Kratz, @VoR, @Pingu)

Oh thank god, past me did have good taste
 
I was shocked to hear We’ve Got The World Tonight playing at 1am in a pub between Mr Brightside and Don’t Stop Believing when I was just across the border for a hen night back in 2019, and delighted to hear it being enthusiastically sung along to in its entirety by the entire pub of pissed up Irish 20/30-somethings.
 
8th: Nino Pršeš - Hano (70pts)
hqdefault.jpg


Oh Moopy, this one's a *brutal* result.

Drawing the short straw of most people's scores in a very strong round, this nonetheless ended up as my big discovery from this lot (although I could only stretch to an 8) - pure spaced, chilled out bliss that actually feels quite on trend for where a lot of the music scene was around the turn of the millennium. I'd go as far as to say that the backing on this could fit happily on the Ray of Light album, and it's hard to think of many higher compliments than that.

I think my only slight complaint about this would be that the language shift to English feels like it cheapens it a little in the second chorus, but really, I'm nitpicking. Give it another go - it's worth the candle!



1 x 12 (@win_the_game)
8 x 0 (@Suomi, @AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAaaaA, @Ill Advised, @ButterTart, @Kevin7, @Pingu, @Apocalypt Flyer, @Ag)
 
7th: Marija Šestić - Rijeka bez imena (84pts)
helsinki-finland-maria-full-name-marija-sestic-of-bosnia-and-her-picture-id74133651


Not a memorable one for the ages this - past the Scarlett Harlett-inspiring frock at least.

Really, were it not for the rousing ending + skypunch combo, this would've had pretty strong claim to being one of the worst contest openers of all time, and still went down as a pretty dud one anyway. Between this, Pe-o margine de lume, and Sasha Son - Love forming a little three-peat run of contest openers, it's really a marvel the contest organisers didn't barge in to enforce a producer-led running order sooner than they eventually did. (Thank *christ* for Christer.)

1 x 10 (@Ill Advised)
2 x 0 (@David 5000, @Soldi)
 
6th: Mija Martina - Ne brini (90pts)
hqdefault.jpg


If the video for acclaimed Song For SuomiFrid winner Ya Tantsevala was famously summed with the description ‘POV: your fag hag is attempting to seduce you’, then Ne brini is a little more on the lines of ‘your lesbian friend aggressively arguing you should both have sex right this second'. Understandably, that paired with a barely-veiled bash at Sex Bomb wasn't quite the silver bullet for Bosnian Eurovision success, only garnering 29 points and a 16th place finish in the 2003 contest.

True to Balkan lesbian form, Mija later went on to be accused of neo-Nazi sympathies after posting the Croatian Ustaše equivalent of 'Sieg heil' as her Facebook status update in 2016. I knew Nina Kraljić's result in the final that year hit some viewers hard, but honestly...

1 x 10 (@Suomi)
1 x 0 (@Diddy)
 
5th: Laka - Pokušaj (137pts)
gettyimages-81226186.jpg


WHOOPS

In many ways testament to the sheer strength of the Bosnian round - I mean, this is an absolute masterpiece, and I could still only give it a 4 in my scores. It's one which actually feels like it undersells itself a bit with the 'wacky' mannerisms and outfits (especially reading the lyrics!), although no doubt it wouldn't have done anywhere near as well without them. And of course, that burst in the last minute into the final chorus is probably one of the great Eurovision moments of the entire decade. Anyway, that was enough for 5th from you all :tongueout:

5 x 12 (@AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAaaaA, @ButterTart, @Pingu, @Apocalypt Flyer, @Raining On Me)
3 x 0 (@ZenGiraffe, @Kratz, @dmlaw - the rare case of the complete dmlaw/ButterTart polarity? :o)
 
Let’s be blunt. No man should ever place his head that close to his sister’s vagina.
 
Pokusaj is HIGH ART. :disco:

But the rest is of what is left is all very, very good too.
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Back
Top Bottom