ASFM: Heat Two - Live from Enya's Castle. VOTING CLOSES 5pm THURS 4th NOVEMBER

[ButterTart]

Are you ready? I'm ready. Are you? Tonight, find out what Cleopatra's comin' atcha with; whether having pizza for tits is enough to make you a star; and what exactly that I YA BABES caper is all about.

Those of you with eyes may have noticed a devastating lack of Shriekeline 'Shreeky' No Heart. I can assure you she's safe and well, and you can find out all about her horrifically painful death later on tonight if I remember to mention it.






Votes to be sent to me please, by 5pm on Thursday 4th November.

Here they are, they're so appealing - they might be songs, or formless squealing:

Kitty Brucknell - Todrick Hall - Rainin’ Fellas
Jamelia's Ghost-Written Diary by the Duchess of Devonshire - Brigitte Handley - Köln
Dakota Johnson Ending Ellen's Career - La Toya Jackson - Just Wanna Dance
I Ya Babes - I Ya Toyah - Pray
Miriam Margolyes - Maylee Todd - Lonely
Lauren Harries - Night Club - Schizophrenic
Margo – AAAMYYY - Over My Dead Body
Kelly Rowland phoning in sick - The Flirts - Passion
Tisch & Iguana's Wedding - Rae Morris - Reborn
Cleopatra - Wednesday Campanella - Ra

Please put these numbers next to the song you want to give that number of points to please:

12
10
08
06
05
04
03
02
01
00

And here's the recap vid:

​

 

[Lucille]

 

[Lucille]

Has a contestant WITHDRAWN?!?

 

[COB]

The picture isn't working for me

 

[RaspberrySwirl]

Me neither.

 

[Iguana]

Nor I.

 

[ButterTart]

Is the picture working now?

 

[Iguana]

Is the picture working now?

I am seeing Faloola so, sadly, yes

 

[ButterTart]

I am seeing Faloola so, sadly, yes

She just wants to entertain

 

[Kate]

Omg just realised no-one picked Su Pollard as their icon. Times have changed

 

[Lucille]

Ready for this PROBLEMATIC ROUND.

 

[Iguana]

Could we add "+ not very good + problematic" to the thread title perhaps?

 

[Lucille]

I think the weird take that entrant is the most problematic one to be honest.

 

[Kate]

And Shriekywhatever the fuck it's called has been replaced by a picture of @Rita asking where the Spotify playlist is

 

[dmlaw]

If someone has withdrawn, does that mean that poor VoR died for nothing?

 

[Suomi]

If someone has withdrawn, does that mean that poor VoR died for nothing?

In the real event of someone being withdrawn, either forcibly or by choice, then VoR is indeed on stand-by with a banger.

 

[ButterTart]

In the real event of someone being withdrawn, either forcibly or by choice, then VoR is indeed on stand-by with a banger.

Who knew PNAU had a THIRD pop smash awaiting submission?

 

[ButterTart]

What's everyone looking forward to most? I'm looking forward to the songs.

 

[ButterTart]

Nobody is looking forward to anything. Bloody marvellous. Don't know why I bloody well bother.

 

[RJN]

Nobody is looking forward to anything. Bloody marvellous. Don't know why I bloody well bother.

I was looking forward to your unraveling, so its all working out

 

[RaspberrySwirl]

I’m looking forward to the end.

 

[RaspberrySwirl]

I’m looking forward to the end.

The end or the ending?

I can’t be acting sassy when I can’t speak.

 

[ButterTart]

I’m looking forward to the end.

What happened to you? You were so CHIPPER last week.

 

[RaspberrySwirl]

What happened to you? You were so CHIPPER last week.

I will be again once the music starts.

 

[ButterTart]

I will be again once the music starts.

Famous last words.

 

[ButterTart]

With ten minutes to go, I’d like to take a moment to share some deeply tragic news. Following last week’s show, @Suomi set fire to the BHS café for the purpose of insurance and bants. This simple, good-natured act had consequences none of us could have anticipated, and it’s my unfortunate duty to tell you that Shriekeline ‘Shrieky’ No Heart has passed away.

After finding fame as an evil purple-haired TikTok lesbian on Care Bears, she immediately segued into a starring role as an avatar in A Song for Moopyfestivalen 32 years later. The poster she was representing has, in an act of staggering callousness, nonchalantly selected another avatar. So while we welcome Jamelia's Ghost-Written Diary by the Duchess of Devonshire to the contest, we must also raise a glass to our fallen friend. We take consolation in the fact that she died as she lived; rolling around screaming with her eyelids on fire.

Shriekeline ‘Shreeky’ No Heart
1947-2021

May angles lead you in.

​

 

[Tisch]

In the real event of someone being withdrawn, either forcibly or by choice, then VoR is indeed on stand-by with a banger.

Nicki Webstern has more than one song?

 

[Kate]

With ten minutes to go, I’d like to take a moment to share some deeply tragic news. Following last week’s show, @Suomi set fire to the BHS café for the purpose of insurance and bants. This simple, good-natured act had consequences none of us could have anticipated, and it’s my unfortunate duty to tell you that Shriekeline ‘Shrieky’ No Heart has passed away.

After finding fame as an evil purple-haired TikTok lesbian on Care Bears, she immediately segued into a starring role as an avatar in A Song for Moopyfestivalen 32 years later. The poster she was representing has, in an act of staggering callousness, nonchalantly selected another avatar. So while we welcome Jamelia's Ghost-Written Diary by the Duchess of Devonshire to the contest, we must also raise a glass to our fallen friend. We take consolation in the fact that she died as she lived; rolling around screaming with her eyelids on fire.

Shriekeline ‘Shreeky’ No Heart
1947-2021

May angles lead you in.

View attachment 5924​

"Oh."​

 

[ButterTart]

Now that you've had time to recover from your apparent ambivalence towards the tragic death of a beloved entertainer, please note that the YouTube playlist is available in the first post and you're to press play at 7pm SHARP.

 

[Lucille]

They picked a shit avatar and should’ve been made to live with the terrible decision tbh.

 

[Kate]

NO IT ISN'T. WHERE IS IT PLEASE MR TARTYBUTT

 

[ButterTart]

NO IT ISN'T. WHERE IS IT PLEASE MR TARTYBUTT

Check again pls

 

[Kate]

Oh there it is

 

[Tisch]

Does that mean we're NEVER going to be graced with an explanation as to what the hell Shriekiline Shreeky No Heart is?

 

[ButterTart]

Playlist here as well.

 

[ButterTart]

Does that mean we're NEVER going to be graced with an explanation as to what the hell Shriekiline Shreeky No Heart is?

She is whatever you want her to be, as long as you want her to be a charred corpse.

 

[ButterTart]

Not that any of you DESERVE IT, but the show begins in two minutes.

 

[Tisch]

She is whatever you want her to be, as long as you want her to be a charred corpse.

@ZenGiraffe can we get a react?

Nothing to do with this post, just something I thought of randomly.

 

[Kate]

I'm readeeeee

Really very pleased that I get to sit at home and do this with tissues stuffed up my nose instead of drinking fancy cocktails in Islington x

 

[ZenGiraffe]

@ZenGiraffe can we get a react?

Nothing to do with this post, just something I thought of randomly.

This was discussed at the time, but no formal motion was lodged